Even Further Down South

Rex Hammock has become the fifth member of the Creative Commons Choir, adding his voice to the singalong podcast of "Dixie."

My vocals were receding deeper into the background with each version, so I'm pleasantly surprised to hear more of myself in Rex's edit. I also like the shotgun blast sound he makes at the end, which I interpret as a metaphorical attempt to put a sick dog out of its misery.

He'd love to hear an asynchronous podcasting choir that had the sense to exclude the five of us:

... this is a great idea for some serious choral folks and acapella enthusiasts (translation: people with talent) to experiment with. Post the music arrangement and some MP3 masters for each vocal part, and then invite folks to send in their part.

Paul Ford bucks the trend, complimenting the New York Times for its plan to charge $49.95 a year for archives and the op-ed section:

Look at the quality of premium cable TV over the last two decades, when compared to the quality of network TV over the same timespan, to see what happens to content when advertisers are the main source of cash.

Interesting comparison, but I think it's far easier for HBO to beat six broadcast networks than for the Times to beat a teeming horde of free online papers and bloggers.

Stevie Does Dallas

Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki Drunker than Cooter BrownSteve Nash and Dirk Nowitzi are best friends. While together in Dallas, they liked to hit dive bars to eat Tex-Mex food and knock back enough beers to produce photos like this, which I presume helps them reconstruct their activities after a blackout. I think they're holding hands for structural support.

There ought to be a smoldering crater where the American Airlines Center in Dallas once stood, with a sign next to it that reads "Steve Nash was here."

How do you back off Nash at the three point line, leading by three points, with five seconds left? A Dallas playoff game hasn't ended with a move that boneheaded since Derek Harper ran out the clock against the Lakers in 1984 in a tied game, thinking the Mavs were up by one.

This has to be the most devastating defeat ever dealt to Dallas fans by one of our former heroes. It's like Roger Staubach coming back with the 49ers to throw The Catch to Dwight Clark.

Insert Charlie Brown "Auuuugh!" here.

I agreed with owner Mark Cuban's decision that the price for resigning Nash was too high. Now the only thing that stops the guy is catching something antibiotic-resistant from his disturbing habit of licking his fingers before free throws and while he drives the ball up the court.

Old-Time Radio, Way-Nu Format

I'm helping Yesterday USA, the first old-time radio station on the Internet, start podcasting its programs.

The station has been produced for 22 years as a labor of love out of the home of Dallas audio engineer Bill Bragg, who's better known these days as the voice of Big Tex.

YUSA broadcasts 23 shows that already sound like podcasts. They're 30- to 90-minute programs created by listeners who briefly introduce the old-time radio shows and music they love, with little editing, polish, or pro-radio fakery. One of the longtime hosts is the singer Ronnie Millsap.

In order to podcast, YUSA needs a Visual Basic component that converts WAV files to MP3 and then uploads the resulting files to a web server.

I don't code much in VB, so I'm having trouble trusting the free code I've found on the Internet to perform the MP3 conversion.

An ActiveX component from United Research Labs looks promising, as you can see from the documentation for a WaveToMp3 function.

Before I encourage YUSA to shell out $299 for the license, I'd like to find some Visual Basic coders who can tell us if there's a cheaper alternative.

Let's Put Everything on the Table

Of all the insults I received for popesquatting, the ones that stung the most were about my web skills, such as this comment on MetaFilter:

Eh, his website needs work. The text overflows the white box and he must've used the nowrap attribute as there is a hideous amount of rightwards scrolling. pls fix ur website b4 u sho it to teh whirled, pls ok tks.

Ouch. F U 2.

I like three-column designs, so I lay out my sites with HTML tables, often putting ads in the rightmost column. This lends itself to a creative trick some cranks like to employ -- putting a really long word in a comment to hose my layout and push ads way off the page, depriving me of money I need to put food on my family.

I'm currently moving the 14,000 weblog entries and 232,000 comments on the Drudge Retort from Movable Type to my Wordzilla PHP/MySQL software, so I wanted to solve this long-word problem.

I can't use PHP's wordwrap() function, which breaks long words that exceed a set maximum, because my weblog comments include hyperlinks. Any URL longer than the maximum would be broken.

I found a nice open source PHP script by Brian Huisman, htmlwrap, that solves this problem:

htmlwrap() is a function which wraps HTML by breaking long words and preventing them from damaging your layout. This function will NOT insert br tags every "width" characters as in the PHP wordwrap() function. HTML wraps automatically, so this function only ensures wrapping at "width" characters is possible. Use in places where a page will accept user input in order to create HTML output like in forums or blog comments.

Dismembering the Eighties

SoapNet airs reruns of the cancelled soap Another World, digging 16-year-old episodes out of the Procter & Gamble archives.

Tina Fey in the 1980sThey've reached June 1989, and every time I hit this show during a channel surf I can't find my way back out -- it's a hypnotic time capsule of excruciatingly bad '80s fashion. Movies that mock the decade, such as The Wedding Singer and 200 Cigarettes, don't come close to how ridiculous we looked. There may be no more unseemly spectacle than men in feathered mullets, Member's Only jackets, and wedgie-tight acid wash jeans looking for love from women in shoulder pads, molasses-thick mascara and giant Dee Snider hair. If not for beer goggles, my generation would have single-handledly cured overpopulation.

I was reminded of this when I saw old photos of Tina Fey, who sang at a blogger's wedding.

Fey, who may top the list of attractive female celebrities with corrected vision, appears in wedding photos wearing a flowery Homer Simpson mumu under a dense hair helmet. The only recognizeable feature is her wry lockjaw smile, the universal gesture that tells the world I'm not sure I flossed.

The online magazine Slate, now a part of the Washington Post Company, has developed an anal fixation.

A line from David Edelstein's Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith review:

With his lisp and his clammy little leer, he looks like an old queen keen on trading an aging butt-boy (Count Dooku) for fresh meat -- which leaves Anakin looking more and more like a 15-watt bulb.

Jack Shafer:

I've been called many ugly things in my life -- neo-con, without decency, Michael Kinsley's butt boy -- but school monitor, never.

Dana Stevens:

Things quickly escalated into a full-scale food-fight. Carlson accused Stewart of being John Kerry's "butt boy" and "sniffing his throne."