Stevie Does Dallas

Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki Drunker than Cooter BrownSteve Nash and Dirk Nowitzi are best friends. While together in Dallas, they liked to hit dive bars to eat Tex-Mex food and knock back enough beers to produce photos like this, which I presume helps them reconstruct their activities after a blackout. I think they're holding hands for structural support.

There ought to be a smoldering crater where the American Airlines Center in Dallas once stood, with a sign next to it that reads "Steve Nash was here."

How do you back off Nash at the three point line, leading by three points, with five seconds left? A Dallas playoff game hasn't ended with a move that boneheaded since Derek Harper ran out the clock against the Lakers in 1984 in a tied game, thinking the Mavs were up by one.

This has to be the most devastating defeat ever dealt to Dallas fans by one of our former heroes. It's like Roger Staubach coming back with the 49ers to throw The Catch to Dwight Clark.

Insert Charlie Brown "Auuuugh!" here.

I agreed with owner Mark Cuban's decision that the price for resigning Nash was too high. Now the only thing that stops the guy is catching something antibiotic-resistant from his disturbing habit of licking his fingers before free throws and while he drives the ball up the court.


I was asked a month or so ago if I watched pro basketball and I said I hated the Lakers and was so disgusted with the selfish, showboaty game of recent years that I had given it up. Nobody told me that had changed recently, and it was a complete surprise that Nash was the MVP. I guess I missed a great season, dangit, although there are still some games to catch. Go Stevie Fingerlicker! (that's hot)

Everybody but me seems to have missed the Finals last year, which featured the Detroit Pistons playing incredible team basketball over the me-me-me Lakers and Kobe "my mistress will vouch for my favorite sex act" Bryant.

I think the NBA's getting better. The last two Suns/Mavs games were great, aside from the misery they have visited upon me, and I'm looking forward to seeing the Pistons against Shaq and Dwyane Wade.

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