They Call Me Mush Mouth

I live in a ------ apartment that was supposed to be temporary. I work at a job that was also supposed to be temporary until I figured out what I really wanted to do with my life, which apparently is nothing. I have lots of sex, but I haven't had a relationship last more than a couple of months. I don't even have the self-discipline to floss daily. I've had four root canals. Four. I'm thirty-five. I've had four root canals. -- Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under

I loved Six Feet Under until the show jumped the shark when Nate didn't fall in love with his wife Lisa until after she died. From that day onward, the show was an unrelenting series of miseries piled upon the Job-like Fishers and anyone else who had the misfortune to know them. Even on pay cable, that's not entertainment.

Nate Fisher's lament about root canals was my favorite line from the show, because it's such a great way to measure your commitment to personal responsibility.

I was informed by my dentist this morning that I need two root canals, which will be the second and third times I've spent hundreds of dollars to replace nerve tissue with coagulated tree sap. My mouth has become a dental Falluja.


Ah. I just had my first root canal done Monday. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I must say the experience wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Maybe this one will be my last. It was lucky tooth number 13.

Or not.

So I can relate.


I ignored a root canal diagnosis once due to insufficient funds and a fear of excess pain.

I learned the harder lesson: get the root canal over with. When your whole jaw starts to become infected you understand the concept of a "slippery slope".

I must have had 6 root canals by now and may have some more due in the future. I do love my cafe mochas.

Root canals get a bad rap. When I needed one, the last day I felt any significant pain was the day I went to the dentist for my first procedure. And this is despite requiring a "crown lengthening" (shaving away some gum and bone to reveal more of the remaining tooth). Every procedure went smoothly and the relief was incredible.

How do I join this club? I was going to put fishhooks through my nipples and hang from a chandelier, but this sounds much better.

The previous Chris Angel poster under the name Gutter Percher not withstanding, I am 44 and on my fourth root canal. As a kid I had no problem at the dentist. Didn't need any novacaine or anything. But at age 29 I had my wisdom teeth removed and I had two dry sockets and the dentist left a piece of tooth in my head. After that I developed an irrational fear of the dentist and like a previous poster let things slide. It's cost upwards of 10k to get my mouth in shape. Once again Rogers, my mouth gets me in trouble.

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