Stuart Smalley: Bush Needs Therapy
Stuart Smalley made his first appearance on Al Franken's radio show Friday, venturing into politics to discuss tabloid rumors that the president has returned to the bottle (attached podcast).I'm surprised it took so long to hear from the caring nurturer, who believes the president should get into an anonymous recovery group, regardless of whether or not he's drinking:
Right away. Imagine the stress. There but for the grace of God go I. If I were president, I'd be a complete wreck. I'd be doing a worse job than him, I really believe that. If that's possible.
Politics · Podcasts · 2005/10/24 · 47 COMMENTS · LinkComments
weak
Did you experience much of the Wrath of Wilma?
I heard bush has been drinking since 1999..I wonder if he is doing cocaine too..I dont feel sorry for him, he has made many many people suffer and is getting what he desearves..I just hope he is impeached before he starts war with syria and iran..They have oil too....bush is nuts..
Hey, you're alive!
I read a great article at Daily Kos today about George W. Bush, by Cogitator.
As usual, the comments were profuse and entertaining.
Sorry to digress a bit, but someone said something about John McCain that I thought was pertinent:
How disgusting it was that he embraced George Bush in 2004, after being savaged, slimily, by Bush's campaign in 2000.
I can only say that McCain was pragmatically, but shamefully, looking out for his future in the Republican party.
What are you, a Communist?
I know George W. Bush is a banty rooster, and I once had respect for John McCain's integrity, but his soul looks a little shrunken to me lately.
Give me some of that ole time religion:
LBJ might have been a crooked bastard, too, but he did a lot for people like me.
Socialism ain't so bad.
Lord have mercy, I hear the echo of Huey Long.
Brother, I think it's time for you to come to Jesus, and join us on our mission to Cuba.
No, we're not importing Bibles, we're on a fact-finding itinerary, without a government escort.
I was offered one of those when I tried to get into a Bush rally without lying.
Cant we all just get along?
The Good Doctor himself, Hunter S. Thompson, said that Bush had partied at his place, back in the '70's.
He said he was just a nothing, somebody who snorted coke and ended up in the bathtub.
That's what my Mama told me, too.
Bush doesn't know how to party. He can barely talk when he's sober, much less drunk.
You know, they have some very interesting initiation rituals in Skull and Bones.
You'd have to be drunk to do what they do.
Our ceremonies are much more civilized than what those inferior Yalies have.
We manage to combine decorum, Dionysian frenzy, and some good old-fashioned homoerotic fun, without getting too nasty about it all.
Unlike those regressive Yalies.
I'm here on behalf of all the glorious alumni of Yale.
There is something odoriferous wafting from the northeast.
There are some who say that Yale is really a Southern school, one that pays homage to the Platonic Ideals
of the Southern Cavaliers.
This is true.
But that doesn't mean we're bringing the German shepherds back, just yet.
Ya'll hear?
Bush is still definitely a drunk. Search for him videoed at a wedding party during his "first" term. See for yourself.
He can't help but smirk his way out of a dilemma or "tough" question since that requires a microphone in his ear and Rove backstage at the controls.
"Malfeance" with a PeeanceFreeanceSecureIraq...
Yessir, just like The Great Oz
and the snake oil salesman at the controls (behind the curtain).
scary times, in which we live.
I must say that living in Portland provides a great deal of perspective on 'drugs.' For one thing, you can't find a rightwing, conservative or Republican meeting/gettogether where drugs, other than alcohol and tobacco, are anywhere in evidence. Compared to leftwing, liberal or Democrat meetings/raves where it is difficult to tell who isn't stoned out of their minds...
Yet, here they are, almost literally outside there with Timothy, looking in, and down, on Bush for having some drinks or doing a little blow...
Do I spell it write it correctly when I say, "Puling H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S?"
I'll take the presence of someone who's stoned "into his mind", over that of someone who's drunk any day.
Druggies are generally far less obnoxious than drunks.
There may not be as many hypocrites here as you think, although I'm sure at least one of them is a friend of Tim's.
Still, I think we can all get along.
Vince obsesses, "I'll take the presence of someone who's stoned "into his mind", over that of someone who's drunk any day."
What exactly is being stoned 'into' their mind? What drug accomplishes that condition? Meth?
"Druggies are generally far less obnoxious than drunks."
What a specious generality! You write just fine, but can't seem to think, Vinny. You obviously haven't been around too many speed freaks in your druggy career...
"There may not be as many hypocrites here as you think, although I'm sure at least one of them is a friend of Tim's."
You're definitely one of those on the outside, looking in, Vinny. You segregate one class of drug users from the myriad of others and look-down-your-nose (a long shot) at those who use alcohol! And, what for? To continue your slavish attempt(s) to discredit Bush, et al, in order to elevate your partisan goals to achieve political power for your party. You are a drug pimp, dissin' the competition, so that your gang can gain control of the 'street.'
"Still, I think we can all get along."
Not I with you, h-y-p-o...
I thought you knew that I have multiple personality disorder.
I have a hard time deciding who to be on any particular day.
So please give this particular self a break, all right?
And I did know Tim, very well, for many years. He's now singing hosannas with Jerry Garcia.
Vinny's nose is not that long, but it's pretty big.
Bush is a twat plain and simple, he's lucky to have been born into the Lucky Sperm Club. What kinda job do you think he would be "capable" of if he didnt have his daddy's last name. Im thinkin poor idiot would be good job title as opposed to rich idiot. He fucked Texas up (which is he NOT from) and now he is fuckin the world up, thanks W.....go back to Maine you cunt!!!!
The 'mystical' Vincent says, "And I did know Tim, very well, for many years. He's now singing hosannas with Jerry Garcia."
Yeah, you 'know' Tim:
He never knew my name
He never knew my name
Though I never met him
I knew him just the same
Oh, he was a friend of mine.
And, here you are with Martin, John and Tim expressing your religious beliefs; while your party defames the 'other gang,' threatening your 'turf.'
How very, very typical you happen to be, Vince, and oh so consistent in your many faces...
My religious beliefs are the same as my regular beliefs.
There was really nothing mystical about my friendship with Timothy.
It was Owsley who introduced us.
We had the same guru.
Where's the party?
Vince forgets about paragraphs, "My religious beliefs are the same as my regular beliefs.( ) There was really nothing mystical about my friendship with Timothy. ( ) It was Owsley who introduced us. ( ) We had the same guru."
So what? I met Baba Ram Das in Tucson and an acid maker who used it as a front for melting silver coins, when the laws were reversed for those 'crimes.' What does it prove, on point?
"Where's the party?"
Your 'party' is over there on the loser's side, Many...
Poets don't need paragraphs.
We like white space.
Your writing could use more of it.
See you tonight, Thad.
Tadoe, you're so full of crap, you must have moss growing on your back.
George was on third baseby the help of his last name, he thought that he hit a triple and now he trashing the whole world
Al Franken needs some serious help
Is this Hell? What did I do?
BS says (go figure) "Tadoe, you're so full of crap, you must have moss growing on your back."
Moss? Come on, even the 'poet' knows that psilocybe (or other fungi) grows on crap. Up here it is mostly liberty caps (semilanceata,) but we have baeocystis and cyanescens, too. (nice if you can find them.)
The Tillimook area is infamous along those lines, and I've always wondered why the dairymen weren't selling bs by the ton...
Visitor asks, "Is this Hell? What did I do?"
You go to 'liberal' sites to bolster your partisan resolve, all the while experiencing the sinking feeling that you are on the side of dunces...
Bush feels stress? For what? He doesn't make a decision, everything is done for him, my god he can't even ride a bicycle!! Now Cheney, he sure looks like death warmed over. "If he only had a heart"
"You go to 'liberal' sites to bolster your partisan resolve, all the while experiencing the sinking feeling that you are on the side of dunces..."
...and you must be Satan?
There are a lot of things that grow on crap, and I thought we had a good thing going until insecurity reared its ugly head.
Some times those mouthy rednecks are smarter than you think.
Some friends have discovered that, to their chagrin.
The Visitor asks, "...and you must be Satan?"
I've had some Jehovah's Witnesses avow that very thing after being invited into my place for a discussion...how polite is that?
Vince notices, "There are a lot of things that grow on crap, and I thought we had a good thing going until insecurity reared its ugly head."
Don't feel insecure, Vince. Democrats seem to thrive on crap, as well as whatever other fungi might take root, therein. However, with a bit of thought, your mind can become mobile and not rooted in your party dogma.
You can start by not continuing this tiresome effort at one-upmanship...not going to work...
I was talking about your sexuality. I don't think you have any.
You expect me to believe you didn't invite those Jehovah's Witnesses into your house for anything but fun, you wicked, wicked man.
Not a pot bellied man says, "I was talking about your sexuality. I don't think you have any."
I have tried for years to be celibate and unconcerned with that aspect of my animal nature -- thanks for noticing.
"You expect me to believe you didn't invite those Jehovah's Witnesses into your house for anything but fun, you wicked, wicked man."
They, of course, are as intransigent in their beliefs, as are the run-of-the-mill Democrat; chewing the cud issued by their party 'prophets.'
Try to burp, occasionally...
Big Al having a stale character from the 80's pop up to make declarations on his radio show really isn't as much of a surprise as people eating it up like chocolate cake. Would you be in similar hysterics if Robin Williams pulled out old "Mork" to try to make fun of Bush? Why don't you guys just end every paragraph with "Take my wife, PLEASE?" so we can identify the full depth and breadth that you're willing to go to in the name of self-comforting political satire?
Bush is a dry-drunk who has never fully addressed his alcoholism, choosing instead the path of denial. Having done that he's not recovered from being an alcoholic, which makes him liable to fall into the same destructive patterns. Hence, the resurfacing of his addiction by drinking and rumors of Laura Bush having to spend continual time with him in recent months to keep a watchful eye on him. If you know the signs you can tell by looking at his behavior; slurred speech, mangled sentences, incoherent and discordant thoughts. He's the perfect hero and frontman for the right, like Reagan, a brainless twit.
He can't even think well enough to have unscripted "conversations" with the troops.
A puppet marinated in vodka, to Bush apologists, all is well. Mindless partisan cattle that they are.
"The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances as though they were realities" -- Machiavelli
Greg quotes, ""The great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances as though they were realities" -- Machiavelli"
I had to laugh, as you posted this after presenting 'appearances as reality.'
Nicki was talking about you, Mr. Unconscious...
Have you ever had one of those amazing experiences, where the universe seemed to be speaking to you?
You know, like running into a neighbor from Florida, in Grand Central Station?
Guess what? I ran into Tadowe, in Amsterdam. He didn't even know it was me.
It was so funny, because he didn't realize that he had horns on his head, that announced to the world what he really was.
The funniest part is, he's the only one in the whole world who can't see it.
Vince continues on and on and on, "The funniest part is, he's the only one in the whole world who can't see it."
Your envy and obsession are so patently obvious, Vince. I suggest you avoid off-point comments to me in future.
Vince says, in gayboy disguise, "Wait a minute girls, ya'll can't have all the fun. He looks like he needs some peace, love, and understanding. Now you bitches back off."
I've never understood the Left's supposed support of the gay lifestyle, while they use it to revile and defame their presumptive 'enemies.'
It finds an echo in their putative support of people of color, while at the same time they vilify people of color who don't agree with their ideology; e.g., a black Republican is an 'uncle Tom.'
Pretty sick, and one of the reasons your party of progressiveness is no such a thing...
What's really funny is how right-wingers blindly follow the leader. They like to take orders, not ask questions, attack the opponent, refuse to admit failure, deny, cover-up, lie... To them it's not about the truth, it's a game it's all about 'winning'.
Look at history. The right-wing in Iraq supported Saddam Hussein; in Iran the Mullahs; in Russia the hard-line Communists, in Italy, (Bush's favorite) Mussolini. And here? The Christo-fascists, the neo-clowns, the right-wing noise/propaganda machine, and trolls like you, tadpole. All while your 'fearless' leaders continue to loot the treasury. You're pathetic.
To Clinton-hating Bush apologists, all is well.
Here are some quotes from your hero and incompetent 'leader', the Drunkard-in-Chief. You can frame the wise sayings, add some sparkles and hang them over your bed:
"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." -- 9/13/01
"I want justice...There's an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive,'" --9/17/01
"...Secondly, he is not escaping us. This is a guy, who, three months ago, was in control of a county [sic]. Now he's maybe in control of a cave. He's on the run. Listen, a while ago I said to the American people, our objective is more than bin Laden. But one of the things for certain is we're going to get him running and keep him running, and bring him to justice. And that's what's happening. He's on the run, if he's running at all. So we don't know whether he's in cave with the door shut, or a cave with the door open -- we just don't know...."--Crawford TX, 12/28/01
"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."--3/13/02
"I am truly not that concerned about him."--3/13/02
"I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."--3/13/02
"Uhh--Gosh, I --don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those, uhh, exaggerations." -- Tempe, AZ,10/13/2004
Right-wingers are partisan fools following a fool.
Just keep drinking the kool-aid and follow the leader, tadpole. Stay confused, be a cow.
Find something else to do. Put the thesaurus away. I'm tired of individuals that don't have any original thoughts.
How is a war tearing the country apart? I'm in the military...I see it firsthand. You've got your noses in your books, having your rallies, thinking up big words to not impress the next person who's not listening to you anyway. Why don't you take a step back, turn of communist news network (CNN) and take a look around.
Quit being so freaking judgemental of other individuals and look at yourselves. People like you make the country a disgusting place to be.
That won't stop me from fighting to give you the right to make your stupid comments, I mean steal comments from others, about how everything would be better if...
Ah, what's the use, you're all about worthless
Bush Still Hated by Everyone, Forever
For all the comparison's he would like to make about himself and Harry Truman (who left the White House with a high disapproval rating but history later proved him to be jawesome), George Bush has managed to outshine his predecessors in at least one respect: he's beaten every other president in history with how much he's hated.
"No other President's disapproval rating has gone higher than 70 percent," said CNN pollster Keating Holland. "Bush has managed to do that three times so far this year." Including his current highest-ever rating of 76%.
Retrieved November 18, 2008, from www.jossip.com
"George Bush doesn't care about black people." "Kanye West (African-American rapper, record producer, and singer).
Maybe if George W. Bush changed and learned to like and care about black people, the American people would not hate him so much and forever. In addition, maybe if Bush constructively aspired to overcome his hatred of black people, it would be beneficial in relieving some of the psychological strain and inner turmoil within"which would, if anything, risk exacerbating his situation as a dry drunk if not dealt with.
Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
Add a Comment
All comments are moderated before publication. These HTML tags are permitted: <p>, <b>, <i>, <a>, and <blockquote>. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA (for which the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply).
Social Media
Subscriptions
Blogroll
Projects
Statistics
This blog has been published since Nov. 7, 1999 (a span of 9,178 days).
Thank you for visiting Workbench.
