What's in Your Wallet?

Cleaning out my wallet this morning made me wonder what its contents say about me. After receipts and other junk were tossed, here's what I've been carrying around:

My driver's license (Florida, organ donor)
A MasterCard credit card, VISA debit card and health care plan debit card
Two proofs of auto insurance and five health care plan IDs
Retailer cards from BlockBuster, PetCo, Barnes & Noble, Borders, GameStop, Quiznos, Dave & Busters, Ollie Koalas and Borderlands Comics & Games
A $25 gift card good at Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Bahama Breeze and Smokey Bones restaurants that I haven't redeemed in four years
A library card
A Microsoft Bob calling card that expired in March 1996
$15 in cash

I can provide documentation for 10 retailer relationships and no personal relationships. I feel so bad about this I'm going shopping to cheer myself up.

2006/07/20 · 15 COMMENTS · Link

Comments

If you feel bad about it, it might help if you got some photos of the wife and kids. I know that would make your wife feel better, otherwise, this public admission might really cost you.

Now that I think about it, it's already too late. You've got to take her shopping, dude.

#1 · The Realist · 2006/07/20

Rogers I will return to the retort. Somehow someway I will post there again. I told you I would never stop trying. Even the best programmers make mistakes. I will find some small crack that allows me to post again. I AM RELENTLESS.

#2 · jackass · 2006/07/20

Rogers, I hope this is part of a new series, where we get to look inside your medicine cabinets, your closets, your wife's underwear drawer.

Jackass, not loving the new venue, eh? Poor bastard. Even if you do find some crack, Rogers will just patch it up again. Why don't you get a hobby, learn a skill, or go do some community service or something?

Seriously, bro, life is too short.

#3 · achilles · 2006/07/20

Is that a Van Dyke in your license pic? Sassy

#4 · Uncle Mikey · 2006/07/21

Nope. I can't grow a beard. I could barely pull off a soul patch.

#5 · Rogers Cadenhead · 2006/07/21

Perhaps a Franz-Josef (bottom row, second from left)? It may be that your only option is the a la Souvarov (top row, second from right).

#6 · Uncle Mikey · 2006/07/21

Is Rcade wearing sunglasses in that Drivers license photo?

Can you actually do that?

Up here it's no hats, no shades, no i.d.

No shit!

Be Well.

#7 · visitor · 2006/07/23

PS That was a sleepy Spud above.

Be Well.

#8 · dethspud · 2006/07/23

Florida License huh? I used to live in Tampa when I was stationed at Macdill. I like NC better.

#9 · Boaz · 2006/07/23

Many a serial killer has such an ID pic, tinted glasses are a must

#10 · Uncle Mikey · 2006/07/24

Can't image that Smokey Bones Gift Card going to waste.

Hey, Jackass can't even post on pwz any more. If only he was schizophrenic instead of sociopath he could start his own blog and flame himself.

#11 · Oz · 2006/07/26

5 health care id's? Yikes.

Don't feel too bad about the lack of pictures. My kids pictures are at least 5 yrs old, and none of my 2 yr old son.

#12 · Big B · 2006/07/27

I've been wearing a stinger and soul patch for about ten years. I've gotten old enough that the blond and grey wash out in photographs, so that they barely show.

Sounds like you could still toss a few items from your wallet. My brother never used a wallet, because it spoiled the sleek profile of his buttocks. Does anybody ever actually say 'buttocks' anymore?

#13 · Old Silver · 2006/07/28

Where is your Gym I.D. card?

#14 · Ames Tiedeman · 2006/11/20

What the hell

#15 · Jessie · 2021/04/23