Local Blogger: 'Barack Obama Loathes My Kind'

I mentioned earlier that some of my neighbors in North Florida are having trouble accepting the possibility of an Obama presidency. One of them is Kim "Velociman" Crawford, who's going to flee to the Georgia mountains if Obama wins:

... I firmly believe Barack Obama absolutely loathes my kind. This man will not be content to win the presidency. He will spend his waking hours thereafter not pursuing the legitimate goals of state, but punishing those who would dare to oppose him. ...

Did I mention this man hates me? You and me? Yes he does. Why? Because he can. Yes He Can. Beneath that cool persona is a megalomaniac. ... Like Pol Pot after a petit mal seizure, mumbling a litany of the dead. Cool that way.

So I will cast my pathetic vote, and ramp up my relocation to the mountains. Reduce my footprint. Carbon? That will be a nice byproduct, but I mean my personal footprint. My credit footprint. My interface with authority footprint. I'm researching micro-hydro water turbines for that stream, windmills for water, a half-acre patch for vegetables, a few goats, and a bison. Just because I want a ------- bison.

Velociman's our region's greatest crank, which ought to be an official ceremonial position like poet laureate. One of my favorite posts of his gave a primer on how to speak Southern:

... we talked like many people in southern or rural areas talk. You make eye contact when you address each other, then you look down, at the ground, and spit in the grass, and rub it absent-mindedly with the toe of your shoe. As if to say, I enjoy your company, but not that much. I ain't gay, trucklehead! Talk, spit, rub. Had many a conversation doing that.


The main problem Obama will have is expectations - his admirers have set them so high that he won't possibly be able to live up to them. I expect that the people Obama needs to worry about most are his more fanatical followers, who may well turn into extremely disappointed partisans once they learn that he can't do anywhere near as many things as he seems to think he can. It's not him; it's that the office has more limitations than most people who get there think it does.

Velociman's our region's greatest crank, which ought to be an official ceremonial position like poet laureate.

Phooey. You know as well as the next guy that position is state funded. Yes, so are hit whores.

So, Barack Obama loathes crackpots? I think most of us can empathize with that.

Until quite recently, it seemed to be fashionable for authoritarian drones to hurl abuse at progressives and people with whom they disagreed. Insults like "girly men", "traitors", "whiny-ass titty-babies" flowed from the lips of bullying authoritarian little shits like so much drool.
Now that it looks like Barack Obama has an excellent chance of becoming the next President, suddenly we are confronted by the ironic sight of many of those little authoritarian shits morphing into whiny-ass titty-babies, as they splutter, posture and bluster against the imaginary Big Bad Barack. Already I hear the cry of "I'm leaving the country" being uttered by authoritarians everywhere. To which my response would be "and which country are you going to live in? Paraguay" Kazakhstan?". The bad news is that not many countries will welcome some of the authoritarian bottom-feeders who are threatening to flee. Velociman at least seems to want to stay here. albeit by returning to the hills. Best of luck to him. Hopefully when he makes his occasional forays into town to stock up on essentials, he will find an America not dominated by authoritarian bullying little shits.
Oh my. Isn't schadenfruede a wonderful thing sometimes...

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