On the June 1 Back to the Bible radio show, which airs on 1,200 religious stations around the world, host Woodrow Kroll told listeners how I could seek forgiveness from God:
Jesus wants to take the burden of your guilt away. I read this little story. I just thought I had to pass it on to you. The question was asked, "How much would the Vatican pay for the pope's name?" Now that's not a theoretical question. A fellow by the name of Rogers Cadenhead, who is an admitted domain hoarder, bought the domain www.benedictxvi before Pope John Paul died. What he thought was, I'll get the domain name. When the pope dies, if Benedict becomes the next pope, I'll own the name; they'll have to buy the name from me.
Now he knew that this was a good deal, because the name www.popebenedictxvi sold on e-bay for $ 16,000. So he thought his was in like flint, except Cadenhead said this. He was a good Roman Catholic and he said, "I don't want the money. I'm not going to anger 1.1 billion Catholics and my grandmother," he quipped.
So he wasn't interested in really selling the name. But there was something he wanted. So he told the Vatican, "I will give the name to you, and here are three things I want. Number one, I want one of those hats." I have no idea what what he's talking about -- maybe the pope's hat. "And number two," he says, "I want a free night's stay at the Vatican Hotel." Ridiculous things. But number three was really important. He said, "I want complete absolution -- no questions asked -- for the third week of March 1987".
Now I don't know what went on the third week of March 1987, but it appears to me something went on pretty big in his life that he needed absolution for. See, what he is saying is this: "If I could buy forgiveness, it would be worth any price I had to pay." And what I'm saying is this. You can't buy forgiveness, but you can confess your sin and get forgiveness free.
What Peter shows us in this passage is, Jesus is anxious to forgive us, even when we don't really come clean with Him -- when we answer "Do you love Me?" with "Uh, I like You pretty much." Jesus is merciful and kind and willing to forgive. And if He can forgive Peter of what Peter did to Him, He can surely forgive you.
Wow Woodrow, what an excellent example of leaving your entire critical thinking facility in the green room. Or perhaps maroons such as this guy think that just because they repeat something in a serious, straight tone of voice everyone listening will accept it as such.
"You can't buy forgiveness, but you can confess your sin and get forgiveness free."
Free? Now he tells us!
Spuds been spending a fortune on papal dispensations fer this, that and the other thing fer a while now. Spud buys 'em from a guy named Luigi who claims to be the Popes cousin. He seemed very legit. Man, when Spud's Nigerian Banker buddy's money shows up Spud is so gonna sue that Luigi guy. Nice that the guy didn't even bother to do a little light reading on the subject before becoming an authority on all things Cadenhead. This guy is putting extra "mental" in his fundamentalism and taking all the "fun" out.
So what happened in March? :-)
Did you try to have the domain name appraised, how much would it have been worth on the free market?
Congrats, Rogers -- you're now a celebrity sinner!
It kills me how the fundamentalists want us to believe in their kind loving God, who loves us so much that he'll send us to Hell if we don't do what he says.
I have more mercy than that. I think their version of God needs OUR forgiveness.
Who asks to born into this vale of tears, anyway?
Bill, I have to ask. What's a "maroon"?
Bill, I have to ask. What's a "maroon"?
Have you never watched a Bugs Bunny cartoon, Taylor?
+1 for getting my pop reference.
If someone figures out what Rogers did that was so naughty in 1987, do they win a prize? My guess is something to do with this:
On March 19, 1987, following threats of the revelation of the payoff to former secretary Jessica Hahn, whom Bakker's staff members had paid $265,000 to keep secret her allegation that he had raped her, Bakker resigned from PTL. Jerry Falwell called Bakker a liar, an embezzler, a sexual deviant, and "the greatest scab and cancer on the face of Christianity in 2,000 years of church history." [lifted from Wikipedia]
Now did Rogers just hold the camera, or did he carry the hush money too? And if so, in what orifice? We can't handle the truth.
To Vince Williams, I suppose you let your kids do anything and everything they want and they have no penalty at all. Its his play ground so YES he can make the rules. But yes, you do have a choice to listen or not...but a price will be paid either way.
In reply to Sam:
It's a sorry religion that needs the threat of hell to get people to believe in it.
It's nonsense to assert that the punishment for a human lifetime's worth of sin is eternal damnation.
It's a barbaric idea.
It's a lousy theory that threatens people with responsibility for heating up the entire Earth ...
"It's nonsense to assert that the punishment for a human lifetime's worth of sin is eternal damnation. It's a barbaric idea."
But, one common to ALL religions. However, you are obviously much smarter than any other commentator on religion in history and have the facts about 'eternal damnation' at your fingertips ... no need for any 'belief' on your part, and since you 'know' the truth ...
Eternal damnation isn't common to all religions. Judaism doesn't have a hell, and some Christian denominations reject the concept of an afterlife where you might get tortured forever without possibility of parole.
"some Christian denominations reject the concept of an afterlife where you might get tortured forever without possibility of parole"
New and Improved Religion!
Now with all the carrot you luff but with 50% less stick.
...or should that be "schtick"?
Spud laffed anyway.
If religion proves itself incapable of moral evolution wots the point?
PS: "Now I don't know what went on the third week of March 1987, but it appears to me something went on pretty big in his life that he needed absolution for"
He "doesn't know" but his speculation prolly drifts towards the Caligula-esque.
These repressed types are usually the real kink-meisters.
This guy goes beyond "not getting the joke" well into "not having a clue" territory.
When did having a sense of humour become a sin?
...or in this guys case an impossibility?