Five Things About My Secret Nude Past

I've been tagged with the five things you don't know about me virus, so here's my list:

1. In 1988 I spent two weeks at a nudist campground in Orlando, though I was tricked into going by my future mother- and father-in-law, who said we were going to DisneyWorld.

2. People play contact sports in nudist camps, including basketball, which was a surprise to me because of the threat of reaching-in fouls.

3. When elderly male nudists play shuffleboard, they still wear knee-high black socks tucked in to their open-toed sandals.

4. There's an unspoken bond among men who are comparably equipped -- a sense of our shared struggle that's conveyed by a friendly head-nod or a crisp wave of the hand. Though my father in-law dubbed this the "Dinky Dinkus Club" when I told this story to other relatives at a large family gathering, that was not my point at all.

5. If you put a restaurant in a nudist camp, do not under any circumstances use vinyl seats.

Five bloggers I'm now obligating to answer this question: April Winchell, Dave Linabury, Katrina vanden Heuvel, All My Children's Cady McClain and former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

Florida · 2006/12/28 · 10 COMMENTS · Link

Comments

Uncle Mikey must be sick, I can't believe he hasn't riffed all over this.

Back in the neolithic hippie days, I lived in a commune where everybody customarily went naked when we worked in the garden.

One day a curious sheriff's deputy came out to see what these long- haired crazies were doing out there in the woods (the backwoods locals probably didn't know what a commune was, they called it a 'nudist colony'). I figured he was hoping to get an eyeful of some 'nekkid females'.

The proprietor of the place sauntered casually over to the patrol car with a hoe in his hand and stood about two feet away from the lowered window, his manhood about eye level with the beet-faced cop.

The poor fellow was near speechless with embarrassment, and stammered something like "ya'll have a nice day", and tore out of there pronto.

We had a good few laughs over that.

#1 · Vince Williams · 2006/12/28

I don't know where to begin, but hoe-carrying manhood flaunting is as good a place as any I suppose. Based on my two-person sample, it is clear to me that nakedness leads to liberalism, therefore the government should sew permanent clothing on everyone immediately.

#2 · Uncle Mikey · 2006/12/30

I'm gratified that Uncle Mikey has seen the light, and has acknowledged this cosmic truth:

Nakedness does indeed lead to liberalism.

We need more of it. Lots more. In fact, I'm nude as I write this, and it feels wonderful. Won't you join us, Uncle Mikey, in our quest to 'enlighten' all humankind as we shed our irrational inhibitions, and trod forth into a bright new future of transparency in human relations.

#3 · Vince Williams · 2006/12/31

I am the only one to wish you Happy New Years and you delete it.....

Happy New Year rogers

#4 · King Rex · 2007/01/02

Oh, OK fine. I'll answer it, Rogers. I don't think being a Santero will top nude basketball, though.

#5 · Davezilla · 2007/01/02

Of the five people I tagged, you were the odds-on favorite to break down and post a list, Dave. Thanks for not making me a memekiller.

#6 · Rogers Cadenhead · 2007/01/02

Of all the posts in this meme I've seen, this is far and away the best one. Especially the list of people you've tagged. I would've tagged Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, personally, but Tom DeLay is pretty inspired, too.

#7 · Gordon Weakliem · 2007/01/04

I remember after Rogers came back from Christmas break and his flirtation with nudism.To be honest he still couldn't speak after seeing Mary's parents naked. I still can't stop laughing.

#8 · Lone Star J.R. · 2007/01/05

I have just posted my filthy little secrets. Thank you for asking.

#9 · April Winchell · 2007/01/09

Thanks. Damn that Mare Winningham!

#10 · Rogers Cadenhead · 2007/01/10