I have simpler advice for how to make the most of Black Friday: Don't go shopping.
I'm a recovering doorbuster who has been clean for two years. As I told a reporter for the Chicago Tribune, I decided that no price was too high to avoid standing armpit-deep in a crowd of unwashed computer aficionados at the Jacksonville CompUSA, each of us delicating balancing our free 100-pack of blank CDs, seven-in-one digital camera card reader and a reasonably priced name brand laser printer/scanner.
Stop the Shopocalypse!
It appears this may in fact be a record Black Friday...
Perhaps Cadenhead is out shopping.