My glasses have been downsized

The eyeglasses in my mugshot are the Clubman Art-Rim, the brand I've been wearing ever since seeing D-FENS, the downsized engineer played by Michael Douglas in Falling Down. With my haircut and haggard expression, I'm one short-sleeve dress shirt and a suitcase away from a terrific Halloween costume.

The Clubman Art-Rim were the quintessential specs for the gray-flannel suit crowd and other squares in the '50s, many of whom kept them alive for decades through stubborn resistance to change. I wouldn't be surprised if the same people married women who have steadfastly maintained beehive hairdos, decades after the hairnest passed out of style.

Today, the Art-Rim turns up in movies on uptight, by-the-book characters in desperate need of dietary fiber, like the FBI agent played by Tom Hanks in Catch Me If You Can.

I occasionally hear from other devotees of the Art-Rim, which had sales of one million back in the day, according to one appreciation. Because most of these people are jonesing to score a pair, I finally called the manufacturer today and received terrible news: the brand is being discontinued. All that's left are the brown "royal amber" frames in sizes 48 and 51, and those won't last long.

Take a look at D-FENS, Tom Hanks, and me again. Are we really a crowd you want to subject to an unexpected, troubling change?

Comments

Indeed, Rogers, I think they need to find a way to make sure you can still get your frames. For the good of us all. :)

Doesn't Drew Carey wear them, too?

Previosuly, I never quite figured out what it was that made me slightly nervous about you... Now I know!

Oh, I've always loved that style of frame. I never knew who made them though -- I've always called them "Malcolm X goes to NASA" frames.

sshole

That last poster wasn't thinking quite right. I myself loved "Falling Down" and you look just like him. All you need to do is snap and you'd be the perfect Bill Foster.

The Clubman glasses were actually copied from the Ronsir frames made by Shuron, still available in loads of sizes and colors. Check out shuron.com.

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