One of my favorite reads on the Internet is
Ansible, David Langford's monthly science fiction and fantasy newsletter, which can be read over the Web or in e-mail.
A regular feature of the newsletter is Thog's Masterclass, a collection of mangled metaphors, hilarious subject-verb disagreements, and other crimes against English. This month lists five from Kunma, a new horror novel by David Sussman:
- Striking Simile Dept.: "... the abbot watched
dazedly as they rushed like lemurs towards destruction."
- Literality Dept.: "Dr. Runnicels, Immaculate's chief of staff, literally dripped Southern courtesy."
- Theology Dept.: "Catholics as a rule avoid divorce -- unless one of them dies."
- Eyeballs in the Sky Dept.: "Anita's brown, penetrating eyes never left David's face, except to pour cups of tea."
- Aerostatics Dept.: "The vultures, aware of this
supernatural transformation, halted in their flight."
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