Rich Bowen: "After putting me on hold for a lengthy period of time, apparently talking to other experts, he came back and told me that the problem was beyond their expertise to deal with. He encouraged me to read the .htaccess file tutorial on the Apache web site at apache.org. Now, for those of you who don't already know, the reason that this was so very surreal is that I wrote the .htaccess tutorial on the Apache web site."

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