At the offices of The Udder, UT-Pantego's award-winning but thoroughly obnoxious student newspaper, a vicious rumor has appeared and spread through the newsroom: Professor Ingmar Navaroni, Sicilian psychic astrologer whose New Age courses have put UT-Pantego on the map and on Donahue, is really someone else. Four years ago, he was Theo Krantz, Southwestern campaign manager for the Walter Mondale campaign. "That's terrible," a reporter says. "He was a Mondale staffer? It completely blows his credibility." "It makes ... read more

At Crosswinds, the UT-Pantego student newspaper where all writers must support Pat Robertson and the move to pardon Ollie North, an anonymous call reveals a startling secret: "Professor Ingmar Navaroni was once Theo Krantz, Southwestern campaign manager for Walter Mondale's 1984 presidential run." "We have professors on this campus who were once Democratic party leaders?" an editor says. "Heresy!" With love for all men in their hearts, the Crosswinds staff compiles an exposé about Navaroni that curdles his milk. ... read more

In one of her New Age classes at UT-Pantego, Maureen has just run into her boyfriend from third grade, Homer Pumblechook. She dumped him and he's hoping for a reconciliation 23 years later. "After our fight at recess, you never gave me another chance," says Homer, who changed his name to Nirvana at Woodstock. "You're still sore about this?" Maureen asks. "We had something once-in-a-lifetime," Nirvana says. "Don't you remember the morning we spent together eating Moon Pies and watching The Jetsons?" "We're talking ... read more