Leslie HarpoldToday's the 10th anniversary of the death of Leslie Harpold, a friend who died on Dec. 7, 2006, at age 40 in the middle of a brilliant run as one of the first and best web essayists. Before there were blogs and social media silos the web was full of personal sites, hand-coded in HTML by people who had no idea what we were doing -- because there were absolutely no rules or expectations. Leslie's creativity flourished on that vast undiscovered canvas.

Most of Harpold's work is no longer online, but her legion of friends still pass around her words like they were contraband.

I thought this would be a good day to share one of those essays, which was published on Hoopla 500, a project where she wrote to that word count. It was written when she was living in New York City.

Leslie was good at making you sad, but for this occasion I wanted to show an example of how funny she was.

08/30/2001 - "Unsaid"

To the man who ordered three pounds of deli meats while I stood behind you waiting, pretending to be interested in the display of featured cheese selections:

Your shirt looked so soft I wanted to touch it, especially since you reeked of fresh laundry. I wanted to lay my face on your back for a moment, then never see you or speak to you again. I just wanted that one moment.

To the woman who leapt out in front of me on Houston Street and jumped into the cab I had hailed, looking over her shoulder at me, saying "Survival of the fittest, sorry!" as she climbed in:

Fuck you. That was just rude.

To the woman who was going on and on about her thighs in Prada:

You're beautiful. Relax. Yes, they were extremely cute pants, but the truth is there are a lot of pants in this world and you are so pretty the only one worried about your pants is you. Most people are more interested inn what's inside your pants and I mean that with every conceivable dimension that phrase invokes.

To the teenager who was trying to remember who wrote Paradise Lost after quoting the ending passage:

It was Milton, and just knowing those ten lines puts you so far ahead in a game you may not even realize you're playing -- more than you know. I was blown away and inspired. Don't sweat your SAT scores, just keep reading and thinking and you'll be okay.

To the guy who was talking to the bartender at Gaslight:

That reminds me of a joke. The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

To my downstairs neighbor who I discussed the building's water pressure with:

Are you okay? I've been a little afraid of you since that time three years ago you were taken of of here in straitjacket. I didn't even know that actually happened, but it was a really disturbing image. I hope you're okay.

To Annabelle, whom I ate lunch with:

The worst part is -- I actually did think it was funny.

To the guy at the table next to me in the restaurant who said "Who the fuck would want to go Michigan on vacation? What the fuck was he thinking?"

I would, I just did. It's not as bad as you think, actually it's quite beautiful. Plus the people are nice. To be honest though, I bet half of them would say "Who the fuck wants to go to New York?" if you asked them.

Today would be a good day for friends and readers of Leslie to share her words. If you do, let me know so I can link to it on this post.

-- Rogers Cadenhead

Comments

TO GET LOAN @ 2% INTEREST RATE with victoriafinancier@outlook.com

IF you are looking for a loan amount of little or huge amount between $10, 000USD to $100,000.00USD @ 2% interest rate, you will have to contact Victoria Financier Trust Company ( victoriafinancier@outlook.com ). She help me with funds urgently when i was desperate in need of money to payoff my debt after my husband medical expense and more funds assistance to pay our mortgage and refinance my business. I read about Victoria Lawson on how she have help lots of person and she attend to me urgently when i contacted and explain my situation to her. She has help lots of persons that i refer to her too. Contact her now with VIA EMAIL: victoriafinancier@outlook.com

*Full Name:_________

*Address:_________

*Tell:_________

*loan amount:_________

*Loan duration:_________

*Country:_________

*Purpose of loan:_________

*Monthly Income:__________

*Occupation__________

*Next of kin:_________

*Email :_________


 

Winter is the season when the demand of soup increase. Soup is good for health uk writing company as well as human body. Every country has their own cooking style and traditions but this website gives us unique recipe which we can try at home and every country try your recipe. It is easy from our trusted service. All ingredient that you mention in this recipe is very good and naturally.


 

Oscar Entrepreneur Venture is one of the leading independent private company services and manage a wide variety of security and legitimate loans such as students loans, real estate loans, business loans, personal loans, debt consolidation loans etc on behalf of lenders and investors at an affordable annual interest rate of 3%.
Please return below short form if you are interested in getting a loan from us:

Full Name:
Address:
Amount Needed:
Duration:
Phone:
Country:

Return Short Form to:oscarentrepreneur@gmail.com


 

Oscar Entrepreneur Venture is one of the leading independent private company services and manage a wide variety of security and legitimate loans such as students loans, real estate loans, business loans, personal loans, debt consolidation loans etc on behalf of lenders and investors at an affordable annual interest rate of 3%.
Please return below short form if you are interested in getting a loan from us:

Full Name:
Address:
Amount Needed:
Duration:
Phone:
Country:

Return Short Form to:oscarentrepreneur@gmail.com


 

Add a Comment

These HTML tags are permitted: p, b, i, a, and blockquote. A comment may not include more than three links. Participants in this discussion should note the site's moderation policy.

:
:
: