The results are in for one half of the Weblogger Beauty Contest. Scott Roberts submitted a photo of himself and Alexander Payne enjoying Hooters:

Hooter Lovin' Alexander Payne
Hooter Lovin' Alex

Payne is pictured at center, recoiling from the reflective glow of his waitperson's low-cut bodice. Though other pictures were submitted, this one most strongly demonstrates that he is a beautiful person.

Note how Payne preserves the dignity of this woman by averting his gaze and leaning into his friend. I think we can all learn something from his decision to risk violating the personal boundaries of Roberts rather than letting his right elbow create an uncomfortable work environment under the sexual harassment laws of Maryland.

The uneasy grin on Payne's face seems to say, "clearly the management has made a grievous error when estimating the fabric required to adequately clothe this unfortunate. It would be extremely poor thanks for such delightful sup as the buffalo shrimp platter to add to her discomfiture."

In his response to this contest, Payne rates himself 6 1/2 times more attractive than Steve Buscemi and 3/5ths as attractive as Halle Berry. Roberts is less generous, assessing his dinner companion no better than 3 Buscemis or 1/3rd of a Berry.

Roberts will receive $11.27 and a copy of Radio UserLand Kick Start or another book of equal or lesser value. (My alternative suggestion for non-Radio users is Deadly Karate Blows: The Medical Implications.)

The other entries reveal additional sides of Payne's personalitude:

After Dinner Alexander Payne
After Dinner Alex

Web Cam Alex
Web Cam Alex

Do Not Adjust Your Set Alexander Payne
Do Not Adjust Your Set Alex

Are You Talkin' To Me? Alexander Payne
"Are you talkin' to me?" Alex

There's still time to enter the other half of the contest and submit a photograph of Jon Gales.

-- Rogers Cadenhead

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