The results are in for the second half of the Weblogger Beauty Contest. A correspondent who requests anonymity provided these photos of Jon Gales:

Jon Gales Will Show You To Your Table

Jon Gales, Smooth Operator

Gales is, of course, the closely shorn young man whose parents should have sprung for the sports coat when they bought the shirt and tie for his high school graduation.

A word of advice from someone who made this mistake many times in his youth: A button-down shirt and tie do not meet the minimum standards of "formal attire." Without a jacket, you look like you should be handing out menus and showing people to their tables at the Olive Garden, not counting the minutes 'til Grad Night begins and you can live large on wine coolers and Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Shortly after this beauty contest began, Gales tried to claim the prize in contravention of the rules by providing this photograph of himself:

Jon Gales, International Recording Artist

However, this picture has been subjected to more digital image manipulation than an Elizabeth Taylor photo shoot. Even if Gales had not been barred from entering the contest, it violates the spirit of the competition to select a Glamour Shot that's so well-admired by its subject. There are scenes in Matrix: Reloaded that are less lovingly composed than his self-portrait.

Also, I think it's worth noting that Gales apparently tried to hide these graduation photos after they were mentioned on this weblog -- all of the links provided by Adelyn Hahn are now dead. This suggests a level of personal discomfiture that makes them all the more deserving of the award.

The anonymous person who sold out Gales will receive $15.57 and a copy of Radio UserLand Kick Start or another book of equal or lesser value. (My alternative suggestion for non-Radio users -- nothing makes for better bedtime reading than Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition: English Sea Rovers in the Seventeenth-Century Caribbean.)

-- Rogers Cadenhead

Add a Comment

These HTML tags are permitted: p, b, i, a, and blockquote. A comment may not include more than three links. Participants in this discussion should note the site's moderation policy.

:
:
: