My weblog entry on protecting yourself from dancing mortgage people attracted the attention of New York Times reporter Brad Stone, who tracked down Jennifer Uhll, the graphic designer who created the ads for LowerMyBills.Com.

Whenever I see one of these ads, I'm reminded of the door-to-door meat salesmen who occasionally show up at my house offering steaks from a beer cooler in their trunk. Every time they do, I want to ask, "Who are the people keeping you in business?" I half expect to find they're also selling human organs for transplant.

I'll buy high-definition 1080i DirecTV from Jessica Simpson, but I'm not buying meat from some mullet-headed stranger's trunk and I won't trust a life-altering banking decision to creepy dancing silhoettes with undulating pelvi. The ads are so successful for the company it spent $74.6 million running the ads and was bought by Experian for $400 million in 2005.

The people have become so pervasive on newspaper sites that the Times had to admit it inflicts them on readers.

Stone did not pass along my warning to web users that the time has come to recognize the threat the dancers pose to humankind. We have to stop the rooftop couple, line-dancing cowboy clones and fist-pumping zombie Gregory Hines now, before LowerMyBills.Com and its minions unleash some new form of Lovecraftian brain-destroying contagion on the world in the name of affordable mortgage refinance.

-- Rogers Cadenhead

Comments

Aw, they spelled your name wrong in the article, Rogers! When I went to the article, I was hoping to find some horrible, unpleasant person to dump my hatred of the ads on, but it turns out she owns at least one respectible business suit, has got a nice smile, and loves her cat...I'm confused about where to put my hatred now.


 

It's too late. The "Lovecraftian brain-destroying contagion" has already done its work. That's why you see the door-to-door meat salesmen.


 

The dancing silhouettes are nothing compared to "lower back tattoo" ads. What to lower back tattoos have to do with mortgages anyways?

--jb


 

Did anyone notice that her cat seems to be shaved except for it's head, paws and tail? Sort of like a poodle. Very odd.


 

Interesting timing that I saw this article today. Just within the last 2 days I had personally determined that those little dancing couples, and the little dancing Santa Clause were the bane of my Web browsing experience and annoying only second to pop up adds.

On the positive side, they do cause you to notice them and the number one rule of marketing is to get noticed, even if it is in a bad or annoying way, so I guess they are working fine, just totally completely annoying when you are trying to engage your brain on reading material. Maybe somebody can write a dancing silhouette blocker program like they did for pop up adds.

Regards
Doc Kunda


 

If these ads really bother you, I have the cure.


 

Shouldn't this story be on Cruel?


 

I'm going to assume door-to-door meat salesman isn't a euphemism. Wait, no I'm not. Don't make me punchline that shaved cat remark either.


 

i was looking for the two black girls dancing, that catches my attention every time.


 

it's getting worse.

Dangcing Green aliens...


 

I agree. I love those two women dancing. They're hot. Too bad I already have a good mortgage.


 

Ugggh! That's the latest stupid ad campaign of Lowermybills.com: girls (right chubby, I must say) dancing in front of their computer, then turning around to face the camera and acting surprised to find it there, recording their supposedly spontaneous gyrations. And their acting is not that good. It looks like they're in an office of some kind, which may explain some of this nation's unproductivity.


 

One of those black chicks in the animated mortgage ads (the one that looks like someone took her by surprise) is kind of hot. Sorry.


 

Now, two gals making out, and turning to face the camera in feigned surprise...that's different. I'd consider their product. Please: no fat ones, though.


 

And now a dancing robot and a dancing man in black, with the same gay dance steps as the green alien


 

I also read something on the internet that the two dancing black girls are actually lowermybills.com employees. That would probably explain the contrived appearance and exaggerated feigned surprise look at the end of the clip. It's also probably true of the uglier lone dancing black girl.


 

And now a dancing wizard. Argghh!


 

These ads are just creepy and annoying. At point in time they don't make sense cus prices are still sky high, if the house market crashes and you'll be able to buy a home at 50% off than maybe I'll click on one regardless the idiotic design.


 

Agreeing with Matt, one of the black chicks in the ad is hot. The media's got poor Matt so convinced that being attracted to "Big Black Girl" is wrong, he's actually apologizing. The girl's cute but painfully thin corporate America doesn't appreciate her so the ad's a failure.


 

Derek wrote, "she owns at least one respectible business suit, has got a nice smile, and loves her cat...I'm confused about where to put my hatred now."

Look hard at the picture: She looks insane. There's nothing behind those eyes but an out-of-control circus bus careening off a cliff. That statue -- MAFIA KITSCH!

AND WHO THE HELL SHAVES THEIR CAT AND THEN DOES THAT WEIRDNESS TO THE REST OF ITS REMAINING FUR? A pink bow? I'll bet it's a (neutered) male cat, too.

These hideous ads are replicating like viruses ... and mutating, like the recent one that features a woman whose legs bend the wrong way, like an insect's. MAKE IT STOP!


 

You guys are nuts: both of those dancing black girls, the one in the background in red shirt and the one who acts surprised are so hot and sexy, I keep trying to refresh the page to watch them; they know how to move! If I get a mortgage does one or both of those sexy ladies come with the house? If so I am buying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

The thing about those dancing blsck girls and the ones who don't like them is that they are uptight stuffed shirt corporate stiff punks who aren't man enough for that much woman. They can have their rail thin pasty no-rear-end yuppie women who look like skinny boys I'll take the real women like in that ad!!!!!!!!


 

they are the happiest dancers i've ever seen. i can zone out at work for hours watching them.


 

Up until today, July 23, 2009 I had no idea these ads were for LowerMyBills.com. I assumed, because they were so disgusting and poorly done that they would lead you to some scamming outfit in Nigeria. I agree with this author; who the hell trusts their home mortgage to someone advertising with dancing weirdos and girls doing situps (the latest annoying one).

Mortages aren't fun and games, nor are they to be hyped up with nonsense ads and sold to impulsive internet users. Taking out a half-million dollar loan is serious stuff, and any company that sell their product with undulating silhouettes on a roof isn't taking you seriously, they're just taking your money.

No wonder we're in the mess we're in...stupid companies selling stupid loans to stupid borrowers. Maybe the current fiscal crisis will mean the END to these ugly banner ads that keep trying to get stranger and more obnoxious!


 

Your problem is that you're not setting her to music.
Put on the right song & let mama shake her groove thang!


 

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