In one of her New Age classes at UT-Pantego, Maureen has just run into her boyfriend from third grade, Homer Pumblechook. She dumped him and he's hoping for a reconciliation 23 years later.

"After our fight at recess, you never gave me another chance," says Homer, who changed his name to Nirvana at Woodstock.

"You're still sore about this?" Maureen asks.

"We had something once-in-a-lifetime," Nirvana says. "Don't you remember the morning we spent together eating Moon Pies and watching The Jetsons?"

"We're talking about third grade, Homer."

"I remember every day. We met July 6, 1964, at a Saturday screening of Dumbo. I bought you Goobers. You smiled. We had magic, Maureen."

Dumbfounded, Maureen stares at Nirvana, who said earlier that her betrayal made his life an empty series of sex, drugs, rock music and commune living.

"If you don't want me back," Nirvana says, "at least tell me why you broke us up."

"It's simple," Maureen says. "I had a crush on Bobby from the Brady Bunch. I wanted to be available in case we ever met."

Did Maureen ever meet Bobby Brady? Why didn't she go for Greg or Peter instead? Can Homer win her back and build upon the rapport he tried so hard to nurture back at M.E. Motts Five-and-Dime Drug Store?

Tune in Tuesday ...

-- Rogers Cadenhead

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