06/17/03: Possible Scenarios for Heaven

A record arm that you can pick up and put down in favorite parts of your life to play over, like dropping the needle in the middle of your favorite song back in 1980, when you knew exactly which part of the groove was where the guitar solo to "Train in Vain" ended. Moving it there meant you could dance around your room for just one more minute before shoving off, face first, into the snow on a school day. Pick the arm up in heaven, and it's the moment right before Billy Mullen kisses you, standing in the Putt Putt parking lot, just before the street lights come on. Leave it playing through the part where you race home, feet barely touching the ground for the nine blocks you run until you collapse on the landing, face flushed. Lift it off again before you hear your mom say "Young lady..." After savoring it a moment, which might be three hundred heaven years, drop it again that one day you stood in front of the mirror naked and went "you know, I think my boobs are pretty good," and actually believed it. Just replaying the greatest moments again and again, and always being pleasantly surprised how quickly they add up, how many you have to choose from, not having had the luxury of seeing them like an endless play list when you wandered around on this mortal coil.

You get to drive down the most beautiful road ever as fast or slow as you like in a car with enough leg and head room, a great stereo, and the companion of your choice. Your companion enjoys riding shotgun as much as you love driving. Someone brushes your hair every single day and never says, "My arms are tired."

The novel you wished would never end doesn't and peonies bloom year round. You are encouraged to watch movies from an oversized bathtub.

Get up around sunrise, because sunrise is always five minutes after you wake up in heaven, and seeing a different and more magnificent one each day, simultaneously thinking "Wow, earth was beautiful" and also "This is pretty great too." Spend the whole day reunited with pets and being really good at all the stuff you never got around to learning but always wanted to try like snow boarding and making quilts.

The feeling you get when you wake up in the middle of the night laughing thinking about the silliest thing you saw that day.

Swimming in the nicest pool ever, (100% pee free!) slightly heated, incredibly refreshing and no one ever bumping into you. To keep you aware of how lovely it is, periodically you get out of the pool for a big cookout where the watermelon they serve after the hot dogs is fresh and sweet, and there's no penalty for getting back in the pool too soon. Also spitting watermelon seeds would be considered a beautiful gesture, not something "nice young ladies like you do not do."

Perpetually maintaining a combination of these three feelings: hearing the first five bars of your favorite song in an unexpected place, the feeling you have when you wake up from a power nap, drink a glass of water and blink twice while taking your deepest breath; combined with that super fleeting moment your lips stop touching someone else's. Right when you realize you've been kissed.

It is totally okay to write yourself notes and draw pictures on your arms and legs, as long as they are beautiful. P.S. You also get perfect penmanship.

Prada looking pants that feel like flannel pajama bottoms. You are always a size six.

Fresh blackberries with breakfast every day. Diet coke on tap. Gymnastics are second nature to your body, you flip and tumble with alacrity. When people look at you, they see you and they smile from the heart. At night you sleep on the softest pillow ever, and both sides of the pillowcase are cool.

What is is always good enough.

Posted by Leslie @ June 17, 2003 04:11 AM

Replies: 21 comments

I am going to try not to gush, but honestly this is one of the most lovely things I've ever read. I feel so warm and fuzzy and goooood now, I'm going to read it every morning when I get up.

p.s. D'arby started camp yesterday and her counselor is Carrie from Sleater-Kinney, how cool is that?

Posted by: Gwen @ June 17, 2003 11:21 AM

Thanks! Reading this was a little slice of heaven.

Posted by: Jeff @ June 17, 2003 01:20 PM

i'm trying to put my finger on just why that felt so damn therapeutic and thinking you could start a new line of business.

Posted by: moose @ June 17, 2003 02:20 PM

Thank you.

Posted by: Alison @ June 17, 2003 04:05 PM

Damn me for not previewing my comment. I meant "they", not "there". Woof.

Posted by: Jodi @ June 22, 2003 10:46 AM

It's writing like this that makes me wish I wasn't an atheist.

Posted by: Thomas @ June 23, 2003 06:32 AM

Thanks for reminding us that we all have a little bit heaven here on earth now. Remember to make the most of it. Savor the moments.

Posted by: CowPi @ June 23, 2003 11:27 AM

Where would I drop the needle?
Maybe the excitement of moving away from home but I'd pick it up before the scariness kicked in so I only got the sense of freedom. Then I'd put it down somewhere in the beginning of my marriage when life seemed so open, unfortunately I'd snatch the needle up again about year 8 of my marriage before the needle seemed to start skipping. Maybe I'd drop it down again in the weeks when I was still "just friends" with the woman I thought I was so in love with, then I'd pick it up right after we kissed for the first time because once I started to hold her I found the inside bits weren't as soft as I thought they were.
But you you know just writing all this made me realize that I can pick up the needle and drop it down again I just have to give myself the time to do it.
Thanks for the great writing.

Posted by: Christian @ June 24, 2003 11:56 AM

and being able to get that warm, fuzzy feeling, whenever and wherever you are. beautiful, meditative. thank you!

Posted by: fonger @ June 24, 2003 08:13 PM

I don't even remember how I got here... a random click or fate? but have been thinking about a 'what is heaven like' ramble, and yesterday, we put our best dog-friend out his suffering, and have talked about animals in heaven, my wife and I, so maybe I am suppose to leave a comment here. And I'd like to think I'd remember to come back and leave you an image...

Posted by: fredf @ July 3, 2003 04:08 PM

All my life I kept waiting for that moment where I could truly breathe. Where I could inhale and feel full of life. You painted the perfect image of that moment; enough so, that I know that moment has arrived. Thank you.

Posted by: Meghan @ July 15, 2003 10:26 AM

I kept waiting for that moment in my life when I could truly breathe. That moment where I could inhale and be full of life. You painted the perfect image of that moment. Thank you.

Posted by: Meghan @ July 15, 2003 10:30 AM

Oh, that would be so much cooler than the "undo button of life" and "background music of life" I've longed for.

Posted by: Twomato @ July 15, 2003 05:48 PM

You genius, You. It's so very perfect.

Posted by: Mel @ July 16, 2003 08:26 AM

hmmmm... I just had a truly strange image of scratching with that record.

but seriously nice imagery

Posted by: scottbp @ July 17, 2003 08:55 AM

hmmmm... I just had a truly strange image of scratching with that record.

but seriously nice imagery

Posted by: scottbp @ July 17, 2003 08:58 AM

My sister made this spot a lookylou on her blog. Thank you little sister.

I love the bit about sunrise. I'll make this a regular stop.

Posted by: Zenna @ July 17, 2003 12:35 PM

The silliest thing in the middle of the night. Such personally relevant thoughts..it's so nice to hear expressed, what I've tended to keep in my head...to verbalize the ephemeral, subconscious thoughts only reminds me to live and enjoy the moment. And that stress is a state of mind, not a condition!

Posted by: Frances @ July 17, 2003 08:59 PM

Oh my. Sitting at work and then reading this. I feel like taking flight.

Posted by: Alexa @ October 16, 2003 12:41 AM

walking towards the puter the word hoopla popped into my mind i thought, why not tease the search engine with it ,and lo and behold ifound this site ...youve given this old man a glimmer of a few ,oh so very special memories ...Thank you so much

Posted by: Robert @ October 19, 2003 05:12 PM

Wear your favorite pair of jeans, eat Coconut Shrimp from the Outback, drink Turkey Hill Iced Tea, take naps in a dark room, read your favorite books, watch Star Trek and the Twilight Zone all day and night, reunite with your favorite pet, and sleep, sleep, sleep.

Posted by: Greg @ August 3, 2004 08:41 AM